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Don’t be disillusioned into thinking life is against you.

Updated: Aug 29, 2023

Believe the best IS yet to come 💕

Today is exactly 3 months until I fly to Ubud Bali to begin the adventure of releasing my first book, “An Inside Job”, and running my first retreat based on it.

What an emotionally filled journey the past 2 years has been for me. My whole life crashed and from the rubble of the aftermath I had to build myself up piece by piece. I had to strip away layers of who I ‘had’ to be and I can't even express to you how low my lows were, and like a true empath I kept my pain inside me as I continued to help others. I found it easier to focus on others and ignore myself. There was a pivotal point in that time that completely changed my life, and I am grateful every moment of every day to be here sharing this journey of life with you.

I didn't believe I would ever finish writing this book, I actually didn’t believe I would ever achieve anything in my life. I felt I was a huge disappointment and failure, not just to others but to myself. I am so grateful for the teachings that came from my little treasured book, as its where I learnt that I was far more than a disappointment or failure.

For me, life is not about success outside of me, success comes from within. It's when you completely honour yourself. You believe in your path, your intuition, your inner voice, you believe in you... believing in you is not an ego, self-centred emotion, that we were told not to feel as it was ‘selfish’. Believing in yourself is about knowing who you are, your true self, faults and all, and loving yourself no matter what. When you have this love and acceptance, getting it from anyone else is just a bonus.

I had to find myself in the sesspit of the darkest hole and learn about myself again. Not the ‘me’ I was told to be, or the ‘me’ I was expected to be, but the ‘me’ I really wanted to be when I was a little girl. I never thought of careers such as wanting to be a nurse, police officer, or any kind of upholding citizen, I just wanted to be free and happy. It was a simple want that stemmed from all that was going on for me as a child, these things really mattered deep down. Free and Happy, many of us feel its unattainable, but its only because it requires work. Work to remove all the 'crap' we have been told in our lives that leads us to believe we will never be free or happy. When we decide we want to break that chain we have placed around ourselves, the enlightenment begins.

We seem to think that being on your enlightened path to finding your true self is about meditation, connection to the universe and being at peace ... that all helps, alot! but it’s the dark days, the times when you want to be alone, the endless tears, the losses, the disappointments that present themselves on your path. It’s the people that leave... and the people that choose to stay because they love you and believe in you and no matter what, they won’t let you go.

It's good days and bad days, it’s not always easy, but then one day... without any expectation, announcement or event, all the love you have been slowly filling your soul up with, begins to overflow. You wake up and there is a stillness, a peacefulness that you flow into, and that flows into you. What others think, washes away, because you realise it’s not your journey anymore, its theirs. You stand upright, taller than you ever stood, and you realise, 'ahhhh so this is life'.

You make your own mind up. You take steps that lead you to the next place. Those that surround you that have continued to love you, you love them on a deeper level. You realise, they are your tribe, and you feel proud to have them in your circle. There are some fresh faces of new people that have come into your life, there are remnants of those that have left, but there is the peace in knowing, this is where I am meant to be and that’s all that matters.

My beautiful friends, life can be difficult. It can show you sides of others and yourself that you didn’t know existed. It can have nightmares and then it can bring you peace. Life is like that. But don't let it confuse you, because life just wants to be understood. When you understand it, and you get it, it is so full of blessings that continue to flow to you beyond your wildest dreams. Life is more than things, it IS love. Love of everything within that radiates out. It IS peace and it IS full of awesomness. These blessings are all around you at every moment, every day. Unravelling the layers helps you to see them clearer.

The lessons in my book have transformed me to who I am today and I can never go backwards. It all makes so much sense. As the beautiful Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better”.

The Journey of finding your True Self Retreat in Ubud in October cannot come quick enough for me, where I can personally share my book and journey with you. This can be where you can also turn your dark into light whilst surrounded by a supportive group in the warm energy of Ubud. There will be healers and support people that will hold your space and you will learning all this inside a peaceful pyramid at the beautiful Pyramids of Chi, Bali. Sound healings every day, peaceful surroundings and like-minded people to support you. Your own journey will be unique as we all have our very own journey to travel. 21st to the 28th October 2019.

Whilst there, my book "An Inside Job - A practical guide to finding your true self" is officially released! I am so joyful and humbled to be sharing a piece of me with you. You can preorder your copy and even get a Christmas present for someone you feel could really do well in finding their purpose and path. You can preorder here:

So, for today, even though life has given me some tough lessons, I did decide to get off the merry-go-round in my robotic way of thinking and I am so glad I did. It was the scariest and yet the best decision I ever made. Feel the fear and do it anyway, you deserve the life you want.

Thank you for being a part of my journey, your presence is treasured.


Rose ❤

Beautiful picture taken by the exceptional Alice <3

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